Pain is the Panacea

Most things don’t go the way we plan them to. This makes life unpredictable and interesting. We want to set ourselves up for success, but we face some form of failure. If our expectations exceed our lived experience, we feel dejected or disappointed.

We may seek to blame others rather than confront the uncomfortable truth that we too are at fault. Do you deflect and delegate rather than accept and elevate? In the discomfort lie the larger lessons and through those lessons we grow our interpersonal skills.

It is this experience of disappointment that makes success feel all the better. Satisfaction tastes sweeter if the journey to the destination was tougher. There is more reward in overcoming strain and struggle than in smooth sailing. Why?

Because we learn more when faced with an uncomfortable situation. We remember the feeling of discomfort more than the feeling of contentment. We remember our mistakes. We want to make sure we are not burned again because pain hurts. We want to avoid it.

Humans are pleasure-seeking creatures, seeking to avoid pain and suffering unless it is obviously beneficial. We avoid being humiliated even though it increases our humility. A humble person makes a good leader because they are self-aware and empathetic.

By focusing on the needs of others, you will likely forget your own disappointment. Start listening and seek to better understand. You may be surprised what you discover. Those people who seem to hold you back or criticise you may actually be your greatest teachers.

Continue to treat others as you would wish to be treated, even if you feel hurt or harmed. If you can stand in their shoes, it will give you a different perspective on your own problems. You may find yourself unwilling to trade places. A remedy is to reframe your thinking.

Could a setback be success in disguise? Can you reframe the situation? Are you disappointed because your expectations were too high, or unrealistic? Stop wallowing in self-pity and start allowing your brain to train an improved-thinking version of you.

Reframe the situation. Fail stands for first attempt in learning. There are learning opportunities in the least expected places. Don’t do yourself a disservice by investing your time and energy in regret, retribution or revenge. Paradoxically, pain is the panacea.

Dwell in the discomfort, then move on mentally and use your learnings to serve others.

Seek the set-up in the upset.

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